| Sometimes, I cant stand it when the truth is laid out in front of me. I get so defensive and starts denying everything. Like today, I went to this gym program called Curves for women which sounded neat and cool. I usually dont work out during the summer on a regular basis like I do during the schoolyear so why not give it a try. Then, the stupid dreaded moment came when the coach started to measure and weight me and I just got pissed. The results came out saying my health is poor and I weight a lot blah blah...it took alot to withstand for me to not rip up that stupid chart! Very poor health my ass crack! It almost shot my ego. See, as a women in American society, we can constantly bombarded with images of skinny, flawless, sexy, 4-6 pack ab, long flowing hair, pants sizes 00-5 women that it makes us feel self conscious and bad about ourselves and we always have a desire/goal/thought of one day looking like that skinny bitch in the magazine. For years, it took a long long time for me to accept my body cause I'm a thick girl. My legs are like the sizes of a pair of tree stumps but I love them! I love my fat "wide load" ass (that one was for you, Jeff)! I can hip bump a skinny bitch to the ground and smile as I'm walkin away. I become more confident each year because I'm putting aside the thought of I'm an unattractive girl because I'm obese...yeah, I'm obese according to that damn chart. And personally, I think I dont look so bad for obese. And for that stupid chart to show that I'm in poor health. THAT CHART DONT KNOW SHIT! I exercise and keep a decent diet. I walk for 2-3 hours when I dont have nothing planned in my day which is like the best leisure. During school, I workout 3xs a week and I walk like every freakin where in Dekalb with all its hills and steeps. Cardio is a friend of mine...I just hate running but love walking. I dunno why I'm so defensive. I guess I'm tryin to protect my self esteem. Cant wait to start playin racquetball again when school starts. |
